September 15, 2006

    Ain't chicks on bikes pretty sweet? Oh, who am I asking? You probably have a tandem loaded with a new chick every week! Anyhoo, I was just wondering, how does a easy-travelin' freebird like myself meet a cute chick on a bike?
    I was biking behind a young woman this afternoon. From the moment I pulled behind her, her fragrance practically had me in tow. You see, I wanted to tell her that she smelled nice, but that sounded odd to me (and I supposed it would to her).
    What is it about these times we are living in and the word "smell"? Seems to me that people have been overplaying the word "smell" in a single-adjective formula that leaves the word "smell" attached to something rotten
. For example, people often say "these socks smell", and the impression taken is that the socks smell bad. But actually, the statement is not closed. "Smell" has a very limited application as an adjective. Something can have a smell; but the flavor of it needs more than just the word "smell". Roses smell, just as farts do.
    Well, before I could even make up my mind, I was turning south and the woman was continuing east. I don't know—is it even possible for lovesick poets like me to meet cute chicks who bike?

Mr. Jones

    In his world Mr Bike finds all things possible but much fewer likely. Thinking about this, however, could cause some poets paralysis, much like the bout that routed you. So let Mr Bike (sans tandem) do your thinking for you.
    Your discomfort, I believe, stems from hyperfocus. You fear making the object of your attention feel like she has too much of it.
    So put it on yourself instead: “You smell nice” becomes “I like how you smell.” See? Shift some of the focus off of her and onto you. Wanna go all the way? Try “I like your cologne.” Now, she sounds more like a bystander—free to decide whether she wants to stand closer.
    One more thing: Bells make friendly noise. Ring a bike bell at someone, and it just can’t help but pick ‘em up.

Mr Bike

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